Slammin'

Before I get started, there is one thing to ramble about. I've said a couple times that I don't get why Tim Gunn keeps saying that this group of designers was the most talented.

He appeared on the Daily Show this week, and elaborated a bit: they're the most talented when it comes to execution and sewing. They are very technically proficient. I have to say, I agree there. They do seem to be accomplishing more and with better results in their time allotment.

Here's a flash for Bravo though: I don't care. I don't care if they could make me a three piece suit in two hours. I don't care if they can line a jacket in thirty minutes. I don't care if they've never seen an unfinished hem.

I want them to be ARTISTICALLY impressive. And those are two very, very different beasts. This batch of designers has been safe, boring, and I've seen almost nothing that really is going to become iconic. Think about it: Jay's Empire State Building dress. Santino's disastrous lingerie. Jubilee Jumbles. Coffee filter dresses. Teal wedding dresses with trashed trains.

The memorable outfits from Project Runway are not the ones that are made impeccably. They're the ones that are different, that show a great amount of creativity, of ingenuity, of insight and just DESIGN.

Christians fit last week, reminiscent of some of Vanessa's complaints from season one, is that "real fashion" isn't like the show. "Real" designers aren't expected to sew a garment in two days, in fact they aren't often expected to sew much at all.

So, in a competition that is supposed to be about design, how can you claim that being technically good, but not that creative, makes them "the best group yet?" They clearly aren't, I'm sorry. They need to be idea people, they need to make more flops that show that they were at least trying to be crazy. They need to take risks and chances. Universally the most interesting challenge this season has been declared the avant guarde challenge. That's because its' the first time this season they've really done something that was out there and not necessarily wearable, but at least interesting.

Okay, all that off my mind now, we turn to this challenge. To make an outfit for a WWE Diva.

Um. Okay? I mean, it's no more ridiculous than some things they've done, but still.



Okay, it's no secret: I love leopard print. I adore the stuff. I can't really pull off wearing it, but I love it all the same. So this was, very much, my favorite outfit of the night.

Plus, I love the hoodie, especially the fablous bell sleeves that give it a little more style and definition. It makes it more flirty and fun.

The criss-crossing straps are also fantastic, and a great way to add some detail to an outfit without loading it down with rhinestones or feathers. I just really love that kind of stuff.

The styling is also fantastic. I love the boots he picked to go with this, they're perfect. And his girl really worked it on the runway, and you can tell she really loved it. I'm not sure what the holster on her leg is, but it's an interesting touch too. It keeps her legs from becoming a big bare area.

I completely agree with this win. This outfit looks fabulous, and I'm glad to see Chris win one.



I know everybody loves this. And I know, I don't like Christian and that's factoring into my opinion. But I can't stand it. One of the things I like about Chris' outfit is that it doesn't scream what it is. Sure, you wouldn't catch somebody just running around in those hot pants, but I could see it being a costume for all kinds of characters. Trust me, you put an anime character in that, and the cosplayers will go nuts trying to duplicate the straps.

There are only so many things that Christian's outfit could be. And most of the ones I can think of aren't very nice. It reminds me of something, and I can't think of what, but it isn't a good association.

Also, I don't think it really displays much creativity on Christian's part. He's making variations on a theme here. Is his entire fashion week collection going to be "feirce" tight pants, short jackets, and skin tight shirts? I realize this is chaps with lace and such. But really, he makes tight pants and a jacket almost every week.

I'm bored with him. I do have to say though, his attitude this week was refreshing. Thanks for having fun with the challenge for once Christian!



This outfit is a very close second for the win, in my opinion. While I think the shoes are horrible, the rest of it is spot on perfect. The shiny fabric makes it the costume, and gives it the Diva attitude. But the design of it is very sporty and fun. It's taking something pretty standard and making it really sexy.

The criss-crossing straps are also fabulous. They showed some close-ups while talking to Jillian and I was fascinated by how well done they were. Also, I again this this outfit is more versatile in it's own way.

Fabulous job from Jillian.



I'm not sure words can describe what I think about the thing he made that poor girl wear. For one, I'm not sure it's the color that's so much the problem, it's what he did with that color.

Something like Jillian's outfit made in that pink? Could be flirty and cute. This frilly, uneven mess? The color just accentuates how terrible it is! I'm absolutely astonished that they didn't think Rami's was worse than Sweet P's. If Ricky hadn't made that horrible sack for his girl, I would be right now declaring that Rami should have been out.

It doesn't fit her, it doesn't flatter her. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how this came from RAMI.

I can't explain my innate "Get it away, get it away!" reaction to this garment. It's that bad.



Ricky, what good will you earned by not crying at your auf'ing, you ruined with your sour grapes complaining on the Bravo website.

He said (paraphrasing) that they wrestle in bathing suits, that their wrestling outfits look like bathing suits.

No, they don't, okay? Maybe, a long time ago they did. But look at what the girls were wearing when you first talked to them. They were wearing things more in line with what Jillian made. Plus, this outfit is not practical for wrestling. As much skin is showing in Chris, Christian, and Jillian's outfits, they were fitted so well and made in a way that they looked like they weren't going anywhere. This? This looks like the first girl she fought would grab that thin bit of fabric in the front, and yank her by it until the thing ripped in half.

But as much as this showed little innovation and not as much skill to make, there's the sack he made to go over it. First, why was that necessary? Because he had the time since his bathing suit wasn't that difficult? Second, it was ugly. It was poorly made, it looked terrible on her, and it was awful looking.

Ricky, don't whine about this. You lasted a lot longer than many people think you deserved, you got one win before you left, it resulted in your outfit being sold (and selling out literally within an hour or so), and you made it this far. Be a big boy, recognize your faults, and move on. Don't say that your outfit fit the theme when it so clearly didn't match anybody else's, because it only makes it more obvious that they understood and you didn't.



I really hope this Diva did her own hair and makeup, because otherwise, Sweet P...what were you thinking?

As for the outfit, I don't think it's as bad as everybody (Sweet P included) seems to think. I can see the Pin-Up influence, and I would actually think it would be fun to do a photo shoot with this outfit doing traditional pin-up poses. With different hair and makeup, of course.

Now, Sweet P messed up on one thing: there was no reveal. She said this Diva's thing is "Robe, and reveal."

Okay, then you need a reveal. However, I think she did the best she could after her fatal mistake: choosing those fabrics. She couldn't do anything with those fabrics, unless she mixed them with something else, that wouldn't leave her Diva looking like the alien princess of the latest Sci-Fi original series.

But in the end, I absolutely do not believe this outfit was on the same level of terrible as Ricky and Rami's. I think she just didn't make what her Diva would like, so she had trouble catering to the client.

I have to say that as much as this was a strange and nonsensical challenge, it produced more memorable outfits than most of the other ones this season. So in the end, I did enjoy it more than others.

The Fashion Week show was this morning! I'm not telling, but I've already read who the final three are, the information is out there if you like!

Project Runway: Home of bad puns

You know, I realize I should have seen this before. But the titles of Project Runway episodes are alway terrible puns, and they usually give away the content of the challenge before it gets started. I wasn't shocked in the slightest about the denim.

The actual context of gathering materials was just odd to me. Why this warehouse? Why make them sprint 50 yards to get to the material? Why hang it up so high that I would have never been able to reach it? And why did the warehouse have a dirty, dirty floor?

Do viewers really respond to the scramble? It reminds me of the food flurry* on Top Chef. I don't really like what it brings out in the competitors. Is it just me, or does Victorya seem reminiscent of the type of person that no matter what you say you found, she'll say it's probably hers? "Oh, Victorya, there was some money on the floor in the hallway, do you know whose it is?" "Oh, it's probably mine, yeah, I think it's mine..."

*(I fetched that term from Television Without Pity, it's not mine)

The outfits themselves, I have little to say about. You'd think I'd be more excited, since if I had my way I'd wear jeans all the time. But for some reason all I kept thinking of was the time Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake showed up at some red carpet with denim formal wear. They're still on worst dressed lists for that.



You know, this dress is so close to nice...honestly, I think that weird little piece that Tim pointed out is hat ruins the effect. If I have to hear one more designer say to Tim Gunn, "But I like it..." I'm going to scream. Listen guys, any artist should know and embrace the fact that sometimes you're too close to your design. Sometimes the best thing you need is an outside pair of eyes. Especially an extremly creative, knowledgeable, and intelligent pair of eyes as Tim Gunn possesses.

I also don't really see the "little black dress" interpretation. If this was made out of a nice black fabric, it wouldn't really fly very well. It's too...something. I always thought the point of the little black dress was that it was entirely timeless, and as long as you fit into it, you could wear it. It's outside of the trend-sphere. The actual skirt here is cute, but the top is just not working in a way that's timeless.

I don't think it was a travesty though, I'm not sure why the judges were so upset about it. But then, I'm often confused as to what upsets the judges. They seem to find one thing and harp on it for ages. Look at Stephen's "French maid" debacle. That dress looked nothing like a French maid, and they never stopped saying it.

All that said, the dress certainly doesn't wow in any way, shape, or form. Chris is back to be being a little non-plussed and boring. Stop that!



Okay, I should preface this: I absolutely without a doubt, with every fiber of my being, hate skinny jeans. The depths to which I hate this fashion trend know no bounds. I think they always look terrible, I have yet to see them on anybody of any body shape that I think they look good.

So making his model look like she's teetering on stilts instead of legs? Not winning me any points here. I personally think adding the sleeves on the bottom makes it look like she's wearing leg warmers.

Also, the outfit just reminds me of everything else Christian has done. Maybe it's that he's putting his personal touch in everything, but really? He reminds me of Santino more ever week. I first started writing up these recaps because I was trying to show that Santino was using almost the same techniques from week to week and that I couldn't see this amazing talent people kept talking about.

I say the same about Christian. And his attitude is even worse. For one thing, yes, getting denim wet changes the color. Does it do it permanently? Not to any jeans I've had. A damp cloth wouldn't have done so much damage that it deserved Christian's little preachy speeches. You know what? How hard is it to say, "You know, that might not be the best idea. If you're going to get it wet, do it today so it has more than enough time to dry." And then? DROP IT. Walking around boasting about how right you are? It's so utterly childish.

Also, might I point out that once again, Christian was "above" the challenge. You know what Christian? If you're so "above" this? Then leave. Walk out. Quit. Nobody is keeping you there. Of course this thing isn't how "fashion is." But it's how the SHOW is, and if you didn't know that before you auditioned I have no sympathy.

As for the outfit, well, honestly, if I hold my hand up to the screen to block out the pants, then the jacket is kinda nice. But the poofs on the shoulders confuse me. They looked on screen like the seam had ripped and the lining was poking out. Other than that, I actually like it. The collar is fun, and I really enjoy that it's made out of pants.



I'm really baffled by all the hate for Jillian's coat. Okay, so I completely recognize what Tim said in Tim's Take: this is too similar to what she sent down the runway last week. I also do think that taking off a row or two of the red tags would improve that idea.

But overall? I like it. I actually think that it takes Victorya's idea of updating the classic trench and actually DOES it. I think it flows well, for denim, and the color is really the right one for it.

The construction can't really be seen on a screen, so I can understand if it was made poorly. But I don't think it makes the model look huge, it makes her look like she's wearing a coat. They're in New York City, it gets cold there, and women wear coats when it's cold.

Actually, employing the same method I used for Christian's outfit, I covered up the red on the shoulder and the whole thing was more interesting. So while I think the idea was cute, that probably should have been ditched.

But overall, it's not a bottom two garment, in my opinion.



Okay, here's the thing: Rami obviously watched season three of Project Runway. How do I know this? When talking about the field trips, he says you could be making a dress out of trash or going to Paris.

Both of these things were very significant moments in season three. Season three ended with the victory of one Jeffery Sebelia. Whose final dress happened to use zippers along the seams as an accent. It was, in fact, widely praised for this.

So why exactly has everybody, Tim Gunn included, been oohing and aahing over the zippers like he invented the idea? Yes, he uses it to really good effect. Yes, I like it overall. No, there are no new ideas in fashion. But I don't like that everybody seemed to be acting like it was so brilliant. Yes, it was cool looking. Fine, I'll give you that.

Actually, with the exception of the way the zippers go down in the front edge of the skirt instead of just going around and doing a full ruffle, there's not much fault I can find with this dress. I love the top, it's really cool looking. The buttons are something that reminds me of a sailor costume, but it's pulled off well. It's a great garment, and if it had won I wouldn't be surprised.

I will however point out that Rami's assertion that he's more sophisticated and fashion forward because he's not American is insulting. What is it about this season? First Michael Kor's says that straight men can't design women's evening wear. Now we get that American's aren't fashionable.

You know what Rami? That's ridiculous. Think before you open your mouth. If you said you have a different design sensibility? I would be behind you. But saying it's BETTER because it's not American? Whatever.



Okay, I really don't know why Ricky won. For some reason I'm okay with it, I don't know why. I don't understand why it's any more or less impressive than Chris or Rami's designs (in fact, it reminds me a lot of Chris' design). I can't explain to you a single reason why this is a winning design other than it must have been constructed impeccably.

Now, one of the parts of the challenge was to represent the Levi's 501 brand. And I can see how this dress does that more than the others. Certainly more than Rami's. I think that it was probably what helped it win, that it seemed to fit 501s so much more than the others. Even Christian's, as much as it was based on their "trucker jacket" didn't quite capture it. Don't ask me to explain why, but 501s are in my world rugged, real world jeans. They have their own laid back style, but they're not high fashion. So maybe that explains the win.

I do have to say thank you to Heidi for asking Ricky what the hell was up with his crying. She said it exactly the way I wanted to.



I probably would never wear a denim dress. But if I for some reason decided to, it would probably be one like this. Now, the fact that the dark patches don't line up at the waist bothers me. But having just made a dress that had a similar issue I can tell you I understand 100% how hard that is to do, especially if you're in a time crunch.

There's just so much that is right about this, and it puts me right back on the Sweet P bandwagon. I would like her more if I didn't see her reactions to criticism, but her clothes are getting better and better.

This dress has so much to like. The pattern, the construction, the shape. It's all in all just so well made, I think the only reason she didn't win was because it was more dressy than the idea of 501s.



Okay, sometimes I say things like "I could make that!" Most of the time, it's not really true. It's usually especially not true if you take into account the time constraints that these contestants have.

But I do not exaggerate here: I could make this. Something like this, any costumer with a couple hours and the right supplies could throw together. I know she tried to say on the runway that it took her a long time to do, and it LOOKS simple but isn't...and I think the judges believed that as much as I do. If it was that hard for her to do this, then how has she survived so far?

There's nothing to like about this. The jacket was probably pretty standard before she altered it. The collar is okay, but the skirt-that-isn't-a-skirt is weird looking. It doesn't match, it doesn't flow well. I can't find a single thing to praise about this coat.

My picks for the top four are changing, slowly. I'm not entirely sure that Jillian can survive much longer. She's been about to miss the runway for weeks now, and seems to be falling more and more unhinged. Rami, of course, is a shoo in. Sadly, Christian probably is as well.

So the question is, Chris, Ricky, or Sweet P?

*insert "witty" guarde joke here*

On-Guarde, Off-Guarde. See, it's "Avant guarde" jokes! Haha. Really, we get it Bravo.

This challenge was actually FANTASTIC. Thank you, this is exactly what I want from this show! Please do more of this. And the prize was very good, so please, more of that too. I was actually struck by the fact that the description of taking the avant guarde idea and translating it to ready to wear echoed a lot of what I said talking about Kit's dress in episode one. Which turns out to be rather ironic...

So, we have another team challenge. I find it very interesting that the only people who led teams were ones who hadn't before. Chris certainly wasn't going to step up to that plate again, and Ricky probably couldn't have been paid to go through that again.

Jillian, who had probably one of the easiest times in the previous team challenge would have led again, but lost in a notion toss. What did they toss? It looked like a pack of needles. Anyway, I'm surprised that Victorya didn't think strategically and say she should lead because she was immune. I can't recall a single time they've eliminated a worker in a team challenge, it's always the leader.

On to the fashion! Each team did two outfits that were meant to be a matched set, so here goes:



I admit I was worried about this one. I loved it, but I don't really know much about avant guarde fashion at all. I thought that of the looks walking down the runway, it was the most over the top and conceptual, and the most like it was based on an idea or a word rather than a "look."

Also, I could not in a million years imagine making this dress. I think my brain would freeze about a third of the way through. Over 40 YARDS of fabric? Yikes!

I also think one of the great benefits here was the great synergy between the team members. While Christian had some of his standard diva behavior, it really seemed like Chris knew how to take that attitude and roll with it. Christian also seemed to really respect Chris' opinion and expertise. It was a great partnership, and that was refreshing to see!

Their ready to wear look was a great translation of first dress. I agree with the judges, the skirt is just there. And to be honest I'm not a fan of the shirt, but it works for the challenge. It is what it was supposed to be, even if it was a bit too puffy for my taste.



What was Victorya's contribution to this look? The outfit under the coat? Eh, I was underwhelmed. Okay, I admit it. I just really don't like Victorya, and I can't even completely explain why. Possibly because she hasn't made one garment this season I've actually liked that much. But as soon as I saw that coat walk down the runway I knew this wouldn't be the episode to take her out unless they really hated the ready to wear outfit.

That coat is a marvel. I can clearly see the inspiration from the hairdo (which wasn't as clear to me with Christan and Chris). I don't know that I like the tan pants underneath, just because they don't seem to match the plaid. But the plaid looked much darker on my television, and I liked it.

There's so much to love about this coat. But I think that the reason that Christian/Chris won was because they really were outside the norm. I could see a J-rock star wearing this coat, easily. It isn't something that would be worn every day by an "average" woman, but it's a look that would be wearable in certain situations outside the runway.

If you know the ready to wear outfit was constructed in about twenty minutes, you think it shows. But if you don't think about it (and you have a model brilliant enough to pose like this one to minimize the flaws of the garment) then it's a great. The little strap (which the model is covering in this picture) really wasn't great, and the dip of the dress was too low, in my opinion. But it echoes the original dress very well. It is cute, and fun, and I absolutely can't believe it was made in less than an hour. Actually, I watched Iron Costumer at Technicon last year, so I can believe it. But it's still impressive.



Hey, remember when I said that Rami reminded me of an old co-worker last week? Yeah, this week he acted EXACTLY like the other guy. Guess what Rami? Sweet P was right. When Tim Gunn agrees with Sweet P, you should LISTEN. Kthnx.

What did Rami think "avant guarde" meant? Apparently ribbons and folds and bows. He didn't have drama, he didn't have a WOW factor. There wasn't anything that made you go "How did they DO that?" The fabrics, if you ignore the pants, are beautiful. The corset is actually lovely. If you started to strip off some of the random ribbons, it is a nice dress.

But first: blank pants? Under a dress? Please, Rami, go visit Go Fug Yourself and learn a little about why pants under dresses is bad. It looks like she's trying on the dress in the store and just didn't feel like pulling off her pants because she hasn't shaved lately and doesn't want the sales girls to gossip about her hairy legs.

I also don't see what his "theme" or idea was, or how the hairstyle inspired it. I can, however, see how the first look inspired the second. Sweet P continues to surprise me, and I'm actually finding myself rooting for her. It's strange.

There's a little bit of an odd poof on the torso somewhere. But it's cute, it's a compliment to the first dress, and it's made well. Sweet P, despite Rami's constant micromanaging and his belittling of her opinion, managed to pull out something great.

And for the record, I think the bustle could have been a great idea. It would have at least been more interesting.



I hated that Kit was going to get eliminated, but as soon as I saw it was her versus Rami, I knew she would be out. And it's terrible, because I think she has a lot of talent. But it's not showing in this dress.

I love the corset, I love the sheer apron. But honestly, the fabric selection reminds me of my childhood. Like it's something I would get for a Strawberry Shortcake doll, or maybe Holly Hobby. It's not quite either of those, but I could easily see this skirt being on one of those cartoon heroines of the 80's.

Kit had a theme and an idea, which puts her one up from Rami, but I don't really see it in the dress. She said nesting because the hair was like a bird's nest, but she made a dress that took the idea of nesting from nesting dolls. Those two don't work together, even if they're the same word.

But it just doesn't fit the challenge. I hate to say it, I want to love it. I do, because I like Kit so much and I dislike Rami's dress that much. But it just...I can't see how it has anything to do with what they were asked to do. It doesn't make me think high fashion. It makes me think of little southern girls who think hoops skirts are fun (they are, until you try to sit in them...)

The ready to wear look, well it's made well. It's a cute dress, and I don't dislike it. But again, it's boring. I wouldn't mind it being a little longer, but I also don't see what it has to do with the first dress. It's not even made out of one of the fabrics from the first dress.

Honestly, these two looks were such complete missteps for the challenge that I understand why Kit was out. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

In the end, while I loved the challenge, the results weren't very surprising. So I wonder which I would rather have: to agree with the judges and have little to say, or to disagree and being so angry I could rant for days?